Trying. Trying. Trying.

I'm honestly surprised about what my scale showed today.
Last time I weighed myself, the number on it was, well, 61.9 kg (136.5 lbs). That was on Monday.
It's Wednesday morning and the scale shows 60.5 kg (133.4 lbs).

The news is that I somehow managed to persuade my mom to go on a fruit detox diet with me, telling her they (my mom and my dad) eat too much and there's no way how over-eating in these temperatures is healthy. Since Monday evening, we've been eating mostly raw fruit, though yesterday we had a pasta/ vegetable lunch. My mom's not home in the mornings (starts job at 7) so I can eat absolutely nothing for breakfast, then something for lunch and fruit for dinner. I'm SO SURPRISED it's worked so well. I drink a lot of water, eat fruit and feel so much better.

Well, we'll see how this all works out (and for how long). For now, I just have a teeny- weeny hope I will at least get to the weight at which I was when I came home in May. For now, crossing the terrible line of 60 kg (132.3 lbs) is the goal. Please wish me luck. Your blogs help immensely.

Have a great day, loves!!

Slowly, but steadily-- gaining weight.

Good news: we finally installed a wifi router in our apartment, which means I have a way better access to internet now and can use my own laptop to browse the web. That also means I can resume my blogging, which I honestly missed.

Bad news: my weight loss- nothing to brag about. I'm slowly gaining weight and even thought I struggle and have tried dieting, the constant care of my parents makes it, quite frankly- impossible. I'm back on almost 62 kg (136.7 lbs), making it a goal to stay approximately on this level until I go back to college and resume my diet (this time, keeping my fingers crossed- successfully).

The summer's not been as eventful as I would have liked it to be, but I'm well-rested, not sleep-deprived any more and planning on making the most out of the 5 weeks I have left at home.

I'd be more than happy to hear from you-- I'm just going to comment on some of your latest post.

Be strong, darlings.

60.4 kg in the morning.
Slowly reaching back to under 60kg.

No time for internet= no time for blogging.
Eating as little as possible without making my parents realize what I have been up to.. successfully. 
Got my final thanks-God-my-first-year-of-college-is-over grades last Friday- better than expected. Pretty good, actually.

Loving all your posts, my loves. Too bad elegantthinspo is gone...If you are reading this- good luck with everything, sweetheart. If you resume your blogging for whenever and for whatever reason, let me know, ok?

Good luck to all of you. Yes, we can do this. We will overcome all obstacles however hard it might be because we are so strong. Lots of love from the old continent.

Back in the Homeland.

Sweethearts, I'm back at home since last Saturday. Since I always suffer from terrible jet lags, I've been sleeping pretty much since I arrived, but... there always seems to be a 'but'. I've been eating so much it's not even possible: I'm incredibly ashamed of myself. The thing is- my parents have been stuffing me since my arrival and there's just no way how to refuse the food and not to eat with them. I'm back to 62 kg and shifted from the anorexic not eating at all to bulimic and fault-feeling cycle of eating too much (compared to what I had been eating before I was under the constant watch of my parents) and purging.

Yes, only purging makes me feel better. I can feel the grams and the kilos staying in my body and building more and more fat and my new jeans getting smaller and smaller on my thighs every day- I feel so disgusting. So so disgusting. It's also really hard for me to keep blogging because of the excitement of my parents that I'm at home and being very curious as to what I'm doing at all times- I can't just go on internet and write a post. I will have to try anyway- I need to keep keeping track of what I'm putting into my mouth and thus stay determined in my goal. I'll be so lucky if I manage to keep my weight at least at this point over the summer and keep losing it when I'm back at school. Ah, the perks of summer.

It's lovely to be at home though. I'm not saying it's not, I've been looking forward to the end of the school semester for way too long.. now it's here. It's just so hard to stay determined, harder than I though it would be. Your blogs really help, my darlings, I just don't have the time to comment on them.

I love you and honestly- thank you for all your support. Nothing would be possible without you.

Best of luck on all your exams, end of semesters and such. I'll be posting something as soon as I can, I promise. I'll also start adding some thinspo pictures, because I really need them at this point. Sending all my love to all of you from the lovely old Europe!!

Overloaded with Schoolwork/ Stressed out.

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little. 
(John Kenneth Galbraith, The Affluent Society)


Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back.
(Robert Quillen)

Several days have passed and here's my new post. I finally thought of a solution to my scale problem and ordered the appropriate battery online. No idea how I had not thought of it earlier, but, anyway- it should be coming in mail before Friday. No other word can describe my excitement better, just- FINALLY. I'm actually kind of scared of what I'll see on the display, but, at the same time, I really want to find out how I've been doing with my diet.

Frankly, I haven't really been eating much, I guess a maximum of 200-250 calories a day since my last post (last Thursday). There was a party I had to go to yesterday night and had to eat a chicken burrito and cake afterwards, so tasty, what can I say, but I felt so guilty afterwards (and it was probably also the problem of a stuffed shrunk stomach) that I really started feeling sick and had to purge: unwillingly. Sign that my body is getting used to the lack of food... I'm wearing my smallest pair of jeans now and I feel them fitting very loosely around my thighs and my waist. Definitely a good sign, even though I'll need to go shopping for a new pair of jeans before I go home and that is, at this point of the semester, waste of the precious time I need in order to complete my assignments and projects (oh, don't take me wrong, I love shopping.. and it'll for sure be more fun when I'm eventually shopping for small, maybe even extra-small sizes, it's just the school workload is HUGE).

Good luck to all of you, sweethearts and I'll post an update soon.

Busy, yet Happy.

Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success. 

(Stephen A. Brennan)

Just stepped on my (un)trustworthy scale I managed to bring back from the land of the dead and had a VERY pleasant surprise-- it shows 59.9 kg (about 132 pounds), which means I finally conquered my weight goal 1.. I'm reeaally happy about this; even though I still feel threatened by it, I managed to get under that terrible and haunting line my body drew at 60kg and for the longest time had not been able to get past it (in the downward sense, of course). Now it's time to go on with the plan.. can't stop here, can't stay satisfied. The better is within the reach of the hand. Only if losing weight was as easy as putting it on.. but then, well, everyone would be thin and beautiful.. and we beg to differ, right? When it comes to losing weight and reaching our ideals of beauty, scales are our best friends, yet they are our mortal enemies. 

Had a cup of coffee in the morning and have a headache now, so I guess I'll be having another one very soon. Haven't really been drinking enough water since I got up, will definitely try to be at least as good as yesterday (almost 4 liters, think that's my personal record... my parents would be proud, I've never been too much of a water-drinker) :). Off to a biology class soon, then work, then endless assignments... and, girls, it's Friday tomorrow!! (As of today, 15 days until going home.). Wow, time really does fly.

Have a wonderful day, my loves, we can do this together if we stay determined!!!

Okay, I'm back.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. (Author Unknown)


There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream. (Author Unknown)


I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday. (Author Unknown)


The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. (Nelson Mandela)


Hi sweethearts, I haven't posted anything on my blog for way too long because I was ashamed of how my liquid fast ended up being just a series of fasting, binging and purging, fasting, binging, and... yeah; basically it's just been a huge vicious circle I haven't been able to put to an end. Last week I lasted about 4 days and then went back to my routine of eating/not-eating/stuffing my face with anything within reach. Shame on me, I know...


Anyhow, I am back and this time want to do things similarly to how I did them when I started my blog- document what I eat and encourage myself and you with motivational thinspo quotes- exactly like I did before. Yesterday I resumed my fast and with the realization that I have 16 days left before I go home, my determination is stronger than ever: the time is flying by and I need to lose at least 5 or 6 more kilos. To my present weight- I haven't been able to get the type of battery my digital scale uses and so I tried to resuscitate my old one, with some actual results: today in the morning it showed 60.6 kg: I'm actually really surprised I lost so much weight even though I'm not really sure how trustworthy the scale is with the old battery... anyway, this result really encouraged me: I have a couple more kilos to go and if I keep my self-discipline more strict than I have so far, I'm pretty sure the few kilos can go down before I leave.


Today- two cups of coffee, one or two more I'm still planning on drinking, 1 1/2 liters of water... need to drink at least 2 more liters before going to bed.


That's for today. And- thank you SO MUCH for all your encouragement, my loves, my dear followers. I can't express how thankful I am for all your cheerfulness and support.


Lots of love and- we can do this, girls!