Wednesday, May 4, 2011

This is not a goodbye, it's more like... I'll be seeing you.

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My beautiful little darlings
(or whoever still visits my blog),
you have probably figured that something has been wrong with me because I have been away from my blog for a while again. I haven't been doing very well, more like gaining more and more weight because of all the stress from school, finals and all the pressure (especially the kind of pressure I have been putting myself under). The only positive thing about the past couple of weeks has been that I have been going to the gym every, burning 700/800 calories on average. 

It is the finals' week at my college and tomorrow I have my last exam, so I am planning to pull an all-nighter tonight... the last one of this academic year. It is almost Wednesday, and I will be leaving for home on Sunday morning, landing in my beloved country on Monday. I cannot express how much I want to leave at this point... I have been a disappointment to myself, and even though I have been doing my best to avoid thoughts like this, I am losing the battle... I am losing myself, I am losing who I wanted to become, I am losing the last broken pieces of the person I once used to be and whose body I felt comfortable in. 

No, this is not a goodbye, I know I will be back at some point, probably after the summer, maybe even sooner... I just need some time to figure myself out. I love you so much, sweethearts. You are so very strong and are (and always will be) the true inspiration to me.

I'll be seeing you, but for now...

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I love you all so much and owe you more than I will ever be able to pay back. Never ever forget how beautiful you are. This is not the end, it's a new beginning.

Lu.
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11 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 6:53 AM

    My darling Lu, I will never forget you, and I will miss you while you're gone. You were there for me from the beginning - the very beginning - and I love you more than you would ever guess.

    Be wonderful, be yourself,
    Adeline xx

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  2. bitter-sweet darknessMay 4, 2011 at 7:56 AM

    Do what you need to then come back to us.
    You are an inspiration, know that you can do anything,
    and you have proven that many times.
    I'll be waiting.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. CierraMay 4, 2011 at 8:08 AM

    I hope you find what you're looking for within yourself. Smile, because you're beautiful :) Can't wait to hear from you again. XO.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    I will definitely miss reading your blog while you're away. We all understand that you have to do what's right for you! I wish you all the best dearie. You're not losing, this is just a little blip on your journey towards your goal. I hope your summer is wonderful, happy, and filled with lots of sunshine! ♥

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  5. SimplyheatherMay 4, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    :( hope you decide to come back in time!! I hope life goes good for you <33

    http://heatherfrostx.blogspot.com/

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  6. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 8:28 PM

    Do what ever you need to do for yourself and know we will alwas be here for you to come back to when ever you need us :) I hope everything goes well for you and I will really miss reading your blog. Have a great summer!
    Stay strong,
    Lottie x

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  7. ~Nessa~May 5, 2011 at 1:51 AM

    I hope you find whatever you are looking for while you are away. Good luck
    XOXO
    Nessa

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  8. JaxMay 5, 2011 at 5:10 AM

    Oh Lu, darling, I'm so sorry you've been feeling out of sorts. But also I am glad that you will be going back to place that makes you happy and gives you balance.
    You make me happy when I think of you, and I feel your energy when I need a friend. Not too many people can have that sort of strong connection with a person with out even meeting them. But you have that. You can touch people, and you've helped all the girls who have the pleasure of stopping to read your blog. I hope you never lose that, ma cherie.
    I love you so much, and I await your return when the summer is finished. But dear, don't return if that's not what's best for you. Whatever happens, know you will always be with me in my heart. thank you for the invaluable support and love in a time of loneliness and destruction.
    yours in friendship,
    Jackie

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  9. A.beautiful.messMay 5, 2011 at 8:03 AM

    Firstly hope your final exam went well :)

    I will miss you dearly and I really hope you return.
    I hope you feel better soon and that you find some clarity in whatever you're struggling with.
    You are such an inspiration and I always look forward to a post by you.

    Lots of love
    xxx

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  10. AVYMay 9, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    Take care of yourself...

    / Avy
    http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com



    ♥

    ReplyDelete
  11. AurélieMay 22, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    lots of love, aurélie

    ReplyDelete

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