Thursday, September 8, 2011

I chose this.

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52.3 kg (115.30 lbs)
---------BMI 19.9---------
weight lost: 0 kg (0 lbs)
weight to lose: 4.3 kg (9.48 lbs)

Raining.

45 minutes of Pilates in the morning
60 minutes on the elliptical in the afternoon

breakfast: leftover latte from last night
lunch: a double espresso shot
a bottle of Diet Coke

I'm not even pushing myself.
When I find myself thinking about food, I rewind all the compliments (both verbal and non-verbal) I received today; I want to be thin more than I want to have dinner. I know I'm crazy, but starving myself has always been the only way for me to lose weight. I'm tired of making excuses, yet apologizing is what I continue doing. 

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5 comments:

  1. beautiful post. I hope you can find some peace soon.

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  2. Your photos are always beautiful :)

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  3. skyscraper= best song ever. Especially because you know the reasons behind it. Demi is so inspirational, with more freakin problems than I could imagine. yet she is trying to rise from it. Maybe we can do the same, we can be bigger than starving ourselves. I mean of course we'll still do some unorthodox things, but maybe not things that hurt us too terribly.... just food for thought.

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