Back in the Homeland.

Sweethearts, I'm back at home since last Saturday. Since I always suffer from terrible jet lags, I've been sleeping pretty much since I arrived, but... there always seems to be a 'but'. I've been eating so much it's not even possible: I'm incredibly ashamed of myself. The thing is- my parents have been stuffing me since my arrival and there's just no way how to refuse the food and not to eat with them. I'm back to 62 kg and shifted from the anorexic not eating at all to bulimic and fault-feeling cycle of eating too much (compared to what I had been eating before I was under the constant watch of my parents) and purging.

Yes, only purging makes me feel better. I can feel the grams and the kilos staying in my body and building more and more fat and my new jeans getting smaller and smaller on my thighs every day- I feel so disgusting. So so disgusting. It's also really hard for me to keep blogging because of the excitement of my parents that I'm at home and being very curious as to what I'm doing at all times- I can't just go on internet and write a post. I will have to try anyway- I need to keep keeping track of what I'm putting into my mouth and thus stay determined in my goal. I'll be so lucky if I manage to keep my weight at least at this point over the summer and keep losing it when I'm back at school. Ah, the perks of summer.

It's lovely to be at home though. I'm not saying it's not, I've been looking forward to the end of the school semester for way too long.. now it's here. It's just so hard to stay determined, harder than I though it would be. Your blogs really help, my darlings, I just don't have the time to comment on them.

I love you and honestly- thank you for all your support. Nothing would be possible without you.

Best of luck on all your exams, end of semesters and such. I'll be posting something as soon as I can, I promise. I'll also start adding some thinspo pictures, because I really need them at this point. Sending all my love to all of you from the lovely old Europe!!