Focus.

54.9 kg (121.03 lbs)

-----------------BMI 20.8--------------

SW for this try: 56 kg (123.46 lbs)

weight lost: 1.1 kg (2.43 lbs)

weight to lose: 6.9 kg (15.21 lbs)

I've been avoiding mirrors lately. 

It's like holding your breath-- breath in, concentrate, stay focused, 

hold it-- hold it-- hold it------

breathe out.

Need to stay determined, need to keep holding my breath; the relief that will come once I breathe out and take in some fresh air will be immense. This is all more than worth it.

My love-interests continue to be of the non-mutual-attraction kind. Five nice (more or less, actually) guys chasing after me, but I just can't make myself like them...I can't push myself into something I would certainly regret. Trying to focus on my goal instead. They say the best things come to you when you stop looking: I stopped looking for love because I know it will find me.


Tried to start a liquid diet today. Soup, diet coke, tea and coffee for lunch. Couldn't do it. A bowl of soup, diet coke, two slices of pizza and a slice of apple pie later for dinner, I found myself over the toilet in the dorm bathroom. I need to stop doing this. The knuckles on my right hand look terrible and I'm afraid someone might start suspecting something. Maybe it's a good thing there's no one that actually cares?
Attempt number two tomorrow. Must succeed-- will succeed. Need to succeed.


How did I even do this before? When did I become so weak?

I love you, darlings.


Lu.