Friday, April 9, 2010

Friday State of Mind.

You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction(George Lorimer)

Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win. (Bernadette Devlin)

Friday afternoon's finally here; felt like this week's been dragging on forever. One more essay to finish and then off to rest... just so I can get a lot of work done tomorrow and on Sunday. Can't believe the semester's almost over! (28 days before going home!!!) I guess I'm getting overexcited :). These 28 days will be hard, with all the final exams and end-of-semester matters, but I feel like my will is improving, I'm gaining self-control and that makes me incredibly happy.

Breakfast- a cup of coffee, 2 pieces of orange
Lunch- the same.
Dinner- 2 pieces of orange. 
A lot of water with lemon juice.

Let's keep winning!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

High Hopes.

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops- at all.

(Emily Dickinson)

Last night, I had a terrible craving for food, so instead of actually eating, I allowed myself a thought of an early breakfast today as the very first thing in the morning. And then, after I woke up, I got ready for classes and completely forgot about having breakfast. Seems like self-suggestion that I really don't need to eat when I feel like eating works. So far. My hopes for losing weight are so high right now. 

Breakfast X
Lunch- a cup of coffee, two m&m cookies
4pm-ish- an orange
Dinner X
Drinking plenty of water.
Later I think l'll have another cup of coffee.

April 8, 2010  Right now, my scale shows 63.1 kg. 

A long night ahead. Too much to get done before the weekend can start.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

New Beginning.

Although I’m sort of ashamed it took me more than a single look into the mirror to realize I need to lose weight, I’m very much striving for beauty and will do anything to reach my ideal that doesn’t include that –thing- around my waist, big thighs and full cheeks.

As far as the introduction goes- well, I’m a European college student in the USA and have a month to lose weight. Now what’s gonna happen in a month? I’m going home for the summer: it’s as simple as that. I really want to put on a skirt again, not having to sweat in jeans just because I’m ashamed to show my legs. It seems to me people in here don’t really care about their appearances: they’ve learnt to accept that because of the food that’s available to them, there are people that are thin and there are people who are, how to put it… bigger. They’ve ACCEPTED it; now that’s something I simply can’t do. I can’t (and neither I WANT to) accept the way I look.

So, about me:

April 4, 2010

Height: 162.5 cm
Current weight: 64.5 kg
Goal weight 1: 60 kg
Goal weight 2: 55 kg
Far future goal weight: somewhere between 52 and 55 kg

30-day plan: lower the calorie intake to 0-500, drink as much water as possible (ideally 3-4 liters a day), lower the caffeine intake to about 1 cup a day (currently 3-4 cups)

Highest weight: almost 71 kg (after the transition to American food. The breaking point came in December 2008 when I came to realize there was NO WAY how I could possibly allow myself to keep putting on weight)

Weight before coming to the USA: 56/57 kg, if I remember correctly: essentially the weight I’d like to go back to and feel good about myself.

Please wish me luck, because now I’m SERIOUSLY losing weight.