Monday, September 10, 2012

...because it's time to be honest with myself.


Back in the States: school has started once again, and now that I am in my senior year of college, I realize how fast time flies. Here I am, thinking about how far I've come, how deep and how many times I've fallen, how much I have changed over the years, and yet, I still need to remind myself quite often that the most important fact I should be keeping in my mind (even if it's way too easy to forget) is that I've picked myself up too many times to simply ignore how possible things are if you just believe in yourself. Because they are possible. If you firmly set your mind to something, you can achieve great things.

My summer at home was, well, partly magical, partly confusing, partly heartbroken, partly filled with trying to glue my heart back together (partly by dating the wrong men, partly by drinking away the pain), and partly miserable, trying to figure out what I wanted out of my life. I was looking for myself, and don't take me wrong, I still am looking (and still not finding), but I'm slowly putting the puzzle together.

There's a new man in my life.
He says he loves me, but I'm not quite sure it's me who loves, or simply the idea of what I represent (for what it's worth, for him it's escape). He's charming, well-mannered, passionate, understanding, intelligent, and 4,712 miles away.

This is him:

And this is me:

...but I don't want to hide any more...

...because it's time for me to be true to myself,
to be true to my goals, and my achievements.
It's time for me to pick myself up (once again)
and accept all the failures that have made me stronger.
It's time to go on: it's now or never.

Let's do this, loves.
Let's be beautiful.

Yours always,