Somehow my life always seems to alternate between too many emotions and absolute emptiness. People always tell me that I'm a woman of extremes. One or the other, black or color, all or nothing. There's too much of me at the moment, and I want the complete opposite. I'll get there, and you will, too, my darlings.
Meanwhile, the days are passing by, one by one, and I'm disappearing slowly, ounce by ounce. Sometimes I wish I would disappear completely, but then I make myself think of how wonderful life will be once I'm thin, fragile and beautiful.
Because one day, I will have succeeded.
One day, I will be beautiful.
You know, my loves, it might seem like we have a very long and tiring journey ahead of us (and yes, we do indeed), but it is going to be worth the struggle in the end; the people who now criticize us (yes, dad, I saw the look of disgust you did not even try to hide as you watched me put a teaspoon of low-fat sour cream on my salad at dinner today) will have no other choice than to say:
This post is SO all over the place, I realize.
Love you, my sweethearts.