Monday, April 15, 2013

Keto diaries (a.k.a Lu's biggest diet change experiment yet).


What is "keto", you ask?  
Wiki link for your convenience.

So this is my experience.. daily diary disclosed for your amusement.

Day 1. Wednesday, April 10, 2013.  Got through the day surprisingly smoothly: no sugar cravings that could not be fixed with cheese cubes and Dijon mustard. And more cheese cubes dipped in mayo.

Day 2. Thursday. Headache in the evening; other than that, I was determined enough to stick to the new regimen that I didn't allow myself to cheat. No sugar for me, thank you.

Day 3. Friday. Couldn't stop thinking about the leftover caramelized walnuts from Easter. Nibbled on cheese and ham instead. Major headaches throughout the entire day, culminating in the evening. When falling asleep, I'd swear caramel apples and sugar-coated cookies were floating right before my eyes.

Day 4. Saturday. The worst morning yet. By far. First time in months, after opening my eyes in the morning, I seriously considered not getting out of bed. Nausea took over me, felt like I was going to be sick; the very first image upon force-opening my eyes was one of me hugging the toilet for the rest of the day. Made myself get up, headed straight to the kitchen, ate some ham, cheese and had a little salad on the side. Caught myself staring at my half-finished cup of coffee, literally waiting for even the smallest signal that would send me running to the bathroom. Sat and stared, sat and stared, and the sluggishness began to lift until it miraculously disappeared. Afternoon headache crept up on me, although it wasn't nearly as intense and the one I experienced the previous night. Crisis. Flashing neon signs in my brain are constantly switched on and read one word: CARBS.

Day 5. Sunday. Felt alright in the morning; interestingly enough, got a headache after my breakfast share of cheese and ham. Purged lunch, felt like it simply had way too many carbs in it. Pimiento stuffed olives, cheese and sour cream for dinner. Couldn't have possibly stayed in my 500 calorie limit, which is making me feel extremely guilty. For the first time since Wednesday, it occurred to me I might just like chocolate and candy in general a little too much to stick with the diet (now this it what my brain is yelling at me: "Giving up after making it through five days without chocolate? For a carb addict like myself, that's real eternity! I'm no quitter! I'm sticking to the regimen no matter what because I really need to lose the fat!!")

Day 6. Monday. Quitting is not what I do; made the conscious decision to stick to the diet. My period is coming: on top of being constipated as hell, I'm bloated as well. Killing sugar cravings with spoonfuls of chicken fat. Disgusting? No. As long as there's zero or close to no carbs and full fat in it, nothing seems to gross me out any more.  
Monday, later. Thinking and re-thinking. The extra four (!) pounds on the scale are more than discouraging. Might be the before-period phenomenon, or the constant share of calories my body's not used to getting, or perhaps a combination of the two, but seriously... decided to give it until Wednesday so I can say I gave Keto a one-week try: if I don't see any signs of results, I'm abandoning the ship and going back to my beloved fruits and veggies. And chocolate. And sugar. Oh Lord, yes please, give me some sugar, that's all I ask.  
Monday, later than last later. My head and body and soul and brain and all that I am are screaming "give us our sugar back!!" I think I'll just finish off the day and go back to normal (or at least what I consider 'normal') in the morning. I've never really been the one to choose the easy ways out, but not eating is just.. well.. easier.


Moral of the story? None, really.
I tried and failed quite miserably.
Well, at least I tried ;)

P.S. Not saying that if it didn't work for me, it's not going to work for you either.. the internet is full of testimonies of people who swear by this diet! I realize I really haven't given it "time to kick in", haven't "waited to see the amazing results" or maybe got tired of eating only meat and cheese too early in the diet, but hey, I gave it a go (and maybe I'm just too used to seeing results on daily basis without my scale keeping me this frustrated). And maybe I'll even try it again some day, but no cheese for me for a while now, I beg of you.

And now, do me a favor, will you?


I failed, gained four pounds in six days, but it's been an experience. 
Or maybe..


As of tomorrow, you can call me a Keto-quitter ;) 
I love you! Stay awesome!