Monday, October 24, 2011

Focus.


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54.9 kg (121.03 lbs)
-----------------BMI 20.8--------------
SW for this try: 56 kg (123.46 lbs)
weight lost: 1.1 kg (2.43 lbs)
weight to lose: 6.9 kg (15.21 lbs)

I've been avoiding mirrors lately. 
It's like holding your breath-- breath in, concentrate, stay focused, 
hold it-- hold it-- hold it------
breathe out.

Need to stay determined, need to keep holding my breath; the relief that will come once I breathe out and take in some fresh air will be immense. This is all more than worth it.

My love-interests continue to be of the non-mutual-attraction kind. Five nice (more or less, actually) guys chasing after me, but I just can't make myself like them...I can't push myself into something I would certainly regret. Trying to focus on my goal instead. They say the best things come to you when you stop looking: I stopped looking for love because I know it will find me.


Tried to start a liquid diet today. Soup, diet coke, tea and coffee for lunch. Couldn't do it. A bowl of soup, diet coke, two slices of pizza and a slice of apple pie later for dinner, I found myself over the toilet in the dorm bathroom. I need to stop doing this. The knuckles on my right hand look terrible and I'm afraid someone might start suspecting something. Maybe it's a good thing there's no one that actually cares?
Attempt number two tomorrow. Must succeed-- will succeed. Need to succeed.


How did I even do this before? When did I become so weak?


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I love you, darlings.


Lu.


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4 comments:

  1. I haven't been to able to comment in forever, but I am always reading. your stats sound really good lovely, keep it up.

    I always try to liquid fast and fail too - it's too hard I think and it makes us feel worse when we eat. Why not just try to eliminate junk and go from there?

    love xx

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  2. I'm trying really hard to liquid fast too. Want to do this together? Text me if you want to be fasting buddies or something lol 314-210-5411

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  3. it's hard to liquid fast. I've never done anything but a water fast successfully.
    keep trying, you'll get it eventually.

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  4. "I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses."
    Stephen King

    ReplyDelete