Last night, as I was going back to my room from the bathroom, I was suddenly taken aback and remained standing in the hallway, unable to move: my parents were in the living room, watching a documentary about eating disorders. There was everything--
the hair loss,
the pale face,
the mood swings,
the bloodshot eyes,
the need for affection,
the constant tiredness,
the skewed body image,
two hours of exercise every day,
going to the bathroom after every meal,
the bruised and red knuckles destroyed by purging,
the calorie counting as opposed to the seemingly paradoxical obsession with food,
the state of pure panic when in a situation when unable to access a bathroom scale.
I was there, in the hallway. For good fifteen minutes.
Holding my breath. Standing. Not moving. Could hear every word.
And then, before switching the channel, my dad said:
"I just don't understand how anyone can be this sick without other people noticing."