Friday, May 3, 2013

Emotional intelligence (n.) the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups.

The test results were in. A nice lady in a hideous colorful sweater told me to stay seated in the chair from which my feet couldn't reach the ground and left the office to call my parents who were sitting in the waiting room.
She called me exceptionally emotionally mature for my age, with the scores falling far above the average range of other four-year-olds. She even pulled out some graphs and charts from the depths of her ancient collection of proof of exceptional emotional maturity and let my parents bathe in the warmth of promises that in her life, their daughter was undoubtedly going to reach unheard-of greatness.


I was 5. My brother was almost 11 then.
My aunt had come to visit and brought us chocolate bars. My brother ate his the same day he received it. I saved mine and pulled it out from somewhere several days after our aunt left.

"Would you like a bite?" I asked.
"Why'd you ask that?"
"Because I'd feel bad if I didn't."
"I wouldn't want that."
"Wouldn't want what?"
"Have that kind of feeling.


I was seven. My mom asked me what kind of a Christmas gift would make me happy. I said I didn't really want anything other than for all kids in the world to have homes, families and enough food. I got the Christmas usuals and a Barbie doll.

I was twenty-two and on my way home from the supermarket. There was a shaggy-looking homeless man on the corner of the street and I thought he must have been hungry.

"Would you like a loaf of bread?" I asked him.
"Keep the bread and give me money instead."

I couldn't believe it. Completely and utterly shocked, that sentence left me speechless. My body decided to follow my legs and as I turned to continue on my way, I heard:

"You're just a pretty girl who knows nothing about life."


I'm not a kid anymore. In some aspects, I really haven't changed much: even today, my greatest wish is for everyone in the world to live in happiness. However, the difference between now and then is that these days instead of Barbies I get people's amused looks. And no, I haven't learned. I still know nothing about life.

I guess I've just gotten used to the fact the joke's always on me.


  1. My mom found a Pringles can under my bed when I was five. It was full of money. I told her I was saving for the poor. I feel like you too and it gets tiring to feel alone in it. <3

  2. This is the best post I've read. Even though were getting older, and wiser in some sense, the joke's always on us. Even if everybody can't live in happiness or have the perfect fairytale life, we exist together, and I think the thought is enough.

    Who knows, your smile to a stranger, make just make their day better.

  3. I really like reading about people's pasts and childhoods... I've always found it so interesting. <3

  4. You know more than you think you do. Than other people will give you credit for.

    Kindness and compassion for others is NOT a weakness.

    It is terrifying to have it aimed at you, because if enough of it gets spread around it will change the world.

    Change is scary to those comfortable with the status quo.

    You are powerful and brilliant and scary.


  5. I agree so much with Peirdot's comment, kindess and compassion is not weakness, it is powerful and where good things come from.
    Kindness and compassion are strengths of yours <3
    Alice xx

  6. This was a just a video I stumbled upon and wanted to share.